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Time-shared Brain

April 11, 2012

yin yang

Sometimes I think I have two separate minds.  A mind centered about technical things and one for the purely creative.  Sometimes, the technical is in-charge of things while other times it is most certainly the creative.  My problem with this is the two minds have very little in common and makes me seem as if I suffer from multiple personalities.

It is the classic yin and yang equation, but in my case they seldom influence each other.  As a Piscean, I am prone to a segmented mind.  Hell, even our symbol illustrates that point.  It was not until recently I started wondering if the yin and yang concept is exactly what they had in mind when the symbol was selected all those years ago.  My engineering mind points out that is impossible to know while my poetic one has faith and is quick to jump on that train.

I guess this explains my being an engineer and a poet.  The do seem somewhat removed in influences but I did have the benefit of a liberal education, I’m sure that had something to do with it.  At the very least it exposed me to both fields and I found interest in them.  It is said you cannot serve two masters, but I think you can – just not at the same time.

When I have my engineering hat on, I am serious, focused and very task oriented.  I can plow through a stack of old crusty reports gleaning from them relevant information and decide on the best course to move a project forward.  When in this mode, ask someone who just met me, and they will say I am a single-minded and driven man.

At other times, when my poetic mind takes control, I take in what I see and read, mull it over and metaphorically reduce a complex world to

Pisces Symbol

couplets, quatrains and stanzas.  I am open and approachable and seamlessly flow from one topic to another.  If that same person were to meet me with this mind, they would describe an aloof sage-like person that lives in a  nuanced world built upon rhyme and meter.

While it is nice to have both abilities, calling one or the other to the forefront is not possible.  You could say my two minds have minds of their own.  When one is in control, he fights to retain it.  Unchecked, it would be a fight to the death.  Thankfully, that checking takes place deep within my core.  It is as if each mind knows it cannot survive without the other so they both refuse to deliver the coup de grâce.

Perhaps this all comes from my inability to choose one path over the other while growing up.  Most of us tend to migrate to a single interest.  After all, in is hard to devote time to being in the high school band and playing on the football team at the same time, one must choose.  This I could not do and choose instead to pursue my one interests in my own way.  I chose to develop a compartmentalized mind.

So now I am switched back and forth between my two minds, and yes, it is like throwing a switch.  I can stay in one mind for a long period or switch several times a day but I do not have control over the trigger; knowing just what the trigger is has escaped me.  It only becomes a problem when I need one mind for a task but have the other mind in control.  It is sort of like the student suffering through math when all they wish is to be in history – they can do the math, it’s just their mind is some other place.

All-in-all, I am happy with my two minds.  I just wish I could find a way to get them to play well with each other.  As it stands, they fight like children over a toy, shouting “Mine! Mine!” over and over.  When I was younger, the engineering mind won more often than not.  Now, it is the poetic mind that has the lion’s share.  Still, I do not wish to change or meld my two minds.  I am afraid both would be diminished by the process.  I’ll keep my time-shared brain the way it is and be happy with people thinking I’m just some sort of eccentric nut.

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3 comments

  1. I understand, but I think both minds are really one and there is a gentle flow between them.


    • I wish it was that way for me. I seem to have a Jeffersonian-styled “wall of separation” between them.


      • Some people say ‘How can I get balance?’ Forget about it and be. And in your intuitive beingness everything comes to natural alignment by itself. ♥

        ~Mooji



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